What is your ultimate writer’s fantasy? We all have them. There are the realistic fantasies, tied to what truly is possible and then there are the fantasies that don’t have to be constrained by the laws of physics or any kind of statistical probability. The ladies at Jungle Red posed a similar question this week.
After successfully banishing my episode of self doubt for the time being, I’ll share my wild author fantasies first and then the more realistic, real one. Then you share yours – now is not the time to be shy. Think BIG.
1. Part One requires the US Government enacts a computer security public law that requires all federal agencies to buy and implement the product I sell in my day job. This results in a commission large enough to permit me to leave said day job and write full time without worrying about income – hip hip hooray! (There is an alternate version of this that involves winning the lottery).
2. I put my nose to the grindstone and finish my novel. My search for an agent is a bit arduous, but then I get a call from an agent who thinks my book is the best thing s/he’s ever read and can’t wait to take it on, can’t stop talking about how excited s/he is. The agent gets me a good deal (not too good – I couldn’t take the pressure) and I’m delighted to find that the book will be categorized simply as “Fiction” and it will come out in hardcover. It might even be published by L.J. Kenney in order to allow me some sexual anonymity. It gets some decent reviews, maybe even by a lit blogger or two and then…
3. Fantasy kicks into overdrive -- Some big name author falls in love with it and mentions it as his/her current favorite book in an interview. I’m suddenly getting emails and personalized notes from Michael Chabon, Philip Roth, Annie Proulx, Ernest Hebert (my favorite writer), and Nick Hornsby telling me how much they just LOVE this book. I am flush with validation! Emails and letters pour in from readers who just love the book. The Oprah people call, but I’m camera shy and so unphotogenic that Scott, the love of my life almost didn’t want to date me after meeting me at an online dating site so I tell them how flattered I am, but decline. My publisher, my agent and all of my relatives think I’m insane – insane! But I then become known as the reclusive debut novelist who refused Oprah and without going through the humiliation of a TV appearance where people could pick me apart, I’ve managed to become bigger than ever! Who is she? Why won’t she talk to the press? My aloofness drives the media mad and after the novel is optioned for a wildly successful movie, Scott and I spend our time, he painting and I writing in our homes in Northern California,
4. Fantasy is fueled into hyperspace – Truman Capote comes back from the dead, calls me and insists Scott and I jet over to
5. The real one? I keep at it for the next couple of years and finally have a finished manuscript I’m proud of. I find an agent who wants to represent it and it sells to one of the big
It could happen!
What are your wild and not so wild book publishing fantasies?