My Personal Age of Enlightenment

One of my favorite lines from the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life is, “youth is wasted on all the wrong people”. When it comes to the pursuit of knowledge and a broad education, maybe there’s a little truth to the sentiment. If I’d left high school in 1979 and gone on to a four year college, my life would have taken a far different, although not necessarily better path. In those days, my ability to retain information was nearly photographic compared to now, when I find myself struggling to remember common words with increasing frequency.

What I didn’t have then was the ability to see the relationships between things.

I hesitate to try to explain what the last month has been like for fear I’ll sound a little crazy, but it is like the universe has broken open for me. It started with Marcel Proust and it picked up speed with the DVDs.

Last January I read a novel by Alain de Botton called On Love. I loved the author’s style so much that I sought out more that he’d written and to my delight, there was plenty to choose from. The same month I read How Proust Can Change Your Life and I wrote a little about each book here.

It’s hard to believe it was only the first of January when I dove into Swann’s Way. I won’t attempt to explain what it is about Marcel Proust that brings about such an intense response from me as a reader, but I touched on it a bit in this post. Our birthdays (mine and Proust's) are a day apart and in some silly way, I feel like that connects me to him and his eccentric, neurotic life.

I jumped right into In the Shadow of Young Girls in Flower as soon as I finished Swann’s Way. After finishing it, I decided to read two or three other books before picking up The Guermantes Way because I’m already half grieving at the notion that once I read all seven volumes of In Search of Lost Time, there will be no more.

I said I might sound a little crazy.

Reading Proust is giving me plenty to think about, but toward the end of December I’d ordered some DVD lecture series’ from The Teaching Company, so when I haven’t been reading or watching movies, I’ve been listening to these lectures. Apparently the adult education business is feeling the pinch of the economy and there were fire sale prices on these courses at the year's end. I bought Great Ideas of Philosophy, a series of 60 half hour lectures, a 24 lecture course on Existentialism and a five course series on the great world religions, which includes Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism.

For some reason, I always feel a little awkward when I tell people I’m reading one of the classics or let’s face it, actually studying something for my own gratification. People often seem to react to these kinds of pursuits with an innate suspicion and sometimes a defensiveness. Why would I do this? I realize it's not everyone's idea of fun, but I am having the time of my life.

The more I learn, the more I want to know. Scott has been watching the philosophy lectures with me, and they’ve all been excellent. I’ve finished the lectures on existentialism, and earlier tonight I finished the last lecture on Islam after completing the courses on Judaism and Christianity.

Had I been reading what I am or trying to follow these lectures at some other time in my life, I’m certain it would have felt like work but for now I feel like the John Travolta character in the movie Phenomenon (well – except I didn't see a meteor and I’m not turning into a genius or anything -- I’m just hungry for more).

This has happened before with other things. I've gone on redecorating frenzies and painted every room in my house, not stopping until the last piece of masking tape was down and the last switch plate cover replaced. I had the same sense of dedication to watching every episode of all nine seasons of The X-Files that I did to studying every wine region in the world and starting my own modest collection (which we ended up drinking before our last cross country move).

I’ve done little to no writing at all since this binge started, but I don’t have any guilt over it. It feels like I have things to learn before I go back to creating something of my own.

But it's all connected.

Not a day goes by that I don't hear a reference to a Greek myth or a German philosopher and my worldview has opened up completely after learning the history of the three great monotheistic religions that not only trace their origins back to Abraham, but share a history of theological, political and mystical struggle.

The day is coming when I'll have taken in as much as I can handle and this intensity and passion will fade. Maybe then it will be orchids or Asian studies or watching old episodes of The Twilight Zone.

Until then, I'll continue to find my bliss in each discovery.

What I Read in January

Rather than just list the books I’ve read in 2008, I thought I’d copy what Tim Hallinan started doing and post about the books I’ve read each month.

Forgetfulness, by Ward Just is a book I picked up while browsing the front table at the Tattered Cover. This was at times a bit slow, but it explored some significant issues with regard to our post 9/11 emotions and views on terrorism and on being an American. I liked Just's narrative style and this book made me want to read more of him.

Josie and Jack, by Kelly Braffet: I bought this one based on Josephine Damian’s review. For anyone who reads Josephine’s blog, you’ll know I was intrigued by her enthusiasm for this one since JD starts far more books than she finishes. She’s a tough critic. I enjoyed the book and I thought it was well plotted and well written.

Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing, Illustrated by Joe Ciardiello. I hesitated to even list this one because it’s only 96 pages and most of them have illustrations or single sentences on them. I bought it when Tim Hallinan referenced it in his Writers Resources pages. It’s quite charming; it cuts right to the chase and is a good book to leave around just to have a quick reminder about some of the fundamentals. This would be the perfect gift for a writer.

Twinkle, Twinkle, by Kaori Ekuni was a book Tim Hallinan read and posted about a couple of months back. I was interested in it primarily because the chapters alternate between the points of view of a married couple. The book was translated from Japanese, so it takes place in Japan. The wife is a young, very confused and very unhappy woman who is married to a gay man. They both went into the marriage knowing what their situation was and the evolution of the relationship is painful and touching. I enjoyed this one quite a bit. It was a beautiful story.

On Love, by Alain de Botton was a book I learned about from this review at The Book Book. It is a novel about falling in and out of love, but it’s written in the style of a series of essays. I loved this book and kept reading passages from it aloud to Scott. He actually read it after I did and he very seldom reads fiction. I adore this author and have recently added four more of his books (all non-fiction) to my TBR stack.

Veronica, by Mary Gaitskill. I found Mary Gaitskill when I was bemoaning the lack of truly flawed female protagonists to Andrea Dupree, the director of my favorite place to learn writing, Lighthouse Writers Workshop. Andrea recommended Mary Gaitskill and I got what I was looking for. This was a gritty novel and when I think about how to describe it, the words that keep popping into my head are “grotesquely beautiful”. If I could craft one sentence as beautifully as Mary Gaitskill does, I would die a happy woman.

How Proust Can Change Your Life, by Alain de Botton. I loved On Love, but this one may have changed my life. In a series of chapters with titles like, “How to Take Your Time”, “How to Suffer Successfully”, “How to be a Good Friend”, and “How to Open Your Eyes”, de Botton explores topics by drawing on the works and the life of Marcel Proust. This is the best book I’ve read in a very long time. I’ve been eyeballing the mammoth copy of Swann’s Way on my shelf and trying to decide how soon I’m willing to tackle it.

The Sky Isn't Visible From Here, by Felicia C. Sullivan is the memoir of blogger and host of Writers Revealed, Felicia Sullivan. The author grew up in Brooklyn with a cocaine addicted mother who would never reveal the identity of Felicia’s father to her. The book alternates chapters recounting a childhood filled with poverty, insecurity and a rotating entourage of the men in her mother’s life, alternating with chapters of her own successful escape to Fordham and then to Columbia to pursue her MFA. Throughout her transformation from neighborhood girl to a successful Manhattanite, Felcia shares her struggles with identity, recreating herself and her plunge into and recovery from alcohol and cocaine addiction. Felcia’s mother disappeared the night before her college graduation and hasn’t been heard from in eleven years. This painful memoir recounts the struggle with this difficult relationship. I already thought Felicia was superwoman, but I am truly awed by all she's accomplished now that I know her story.

What was the best book you read in January?

A note to my Colorado blog pals. Please check out this post about an important bill going before the Colorado House Judiciary Committee on February 20^th. Please urge Governor Ritter to support this bill on the juvenile direct file law.