From the Alpha...

I always believed we have some notion of who or what we're meant to be from the time we're eight or nine. A few people stay the course and they become that person. Most of us stray from the path, sometimes due to bad choices but most often because of fear and the need for security. Every once in a great while, we find the path again.

My husband, the person I admire more than anyone I know is a fine artist, but he didn't start painting until he was 29. He struggled for many years while he learned his craft, worked more jobs than I could ever imagine possible and did without for many years until he could support himself with his art. He never gave up.

We have some friends who are artists and until a few years ago had "normal" jobs, but gave the steady income up to live the modest life they now have. She told me recently they are the proverbial starving artists, but she wouldn't give up the life she has now for anything in the world.

Another friend works with a rescue organization that catches, spays and releases feral cats in Denver. They find homes for the domestic cats they find abandoned and abused and she goes out and feeds and cares for these animals. She told me it's what she was meant to do.

Another couple we know had day jobs, but she's a painter and a writer so they started a fine art framing business on the side. After more than a year of hard work, he left his job to frame full time and she's cut back her hours and will soon be able to quit and do the things she's passionate about.

People do it and they do it all the time. I wanted to write and did, for as long as I can remember; me and a million other people. It wasn't until a few months ago that I thought maybe I could get back on my path. I started stealing time here and there to supplement my journaling with short stories and story ideas. I have a good job and make a good living, but I've watched Scott paint and create day after day, and he works very hard at it. I want what he has and what all of the people I've mentioned have. The yearning to do something I feel passionate about has overcome my fear of failure and financial insecurity (OK that's a lie. I'll never get over my fear of living in poverty again). We talk often now about my transition from the corporate life to that of a writer. How much should we have saved? How far can we pay the mortgage down? Should we get rid of HBO? I'll still have to work, but maybe part-time doing something that doesn't follow me home. I'm a realist and I know it's a longshot I'll be successful and we'll have to "downsize" and make sacrifices, but it's worth it. It's what I love and giving it my best shot and failing is preferable to never trying at all. I've made commitments to get our lives in order and to allow more time to write and this blog is part of that.

I'm hoping to connect with others who are daring to dream of pursuing whatever it is they are meant to be. I'd like to share thoughts and ideas with people who want to make a major life change and to find inspiration from people who've done it. I have a lot of challenges ahead of me, but I have a whole new level of energy and optimism now that I've gone from "I wish" to "I will".