tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post1527062626258330627..comments2024-02-25T05:03:48.092-07:00Comments on Eudaemonia: Can a WIP Get Jealous?Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00665632105920753931noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-79261184798052735992008-04-28T16:57:00.000-06:002008-04-28T16:57:00.000-06:00Vesper, I guess every piece has its own personalit...Vesper, I guess every piece has its own personality. I agree with the general sentiment that this one is much more weighed down in description and background than the other. Thank you for reading :)))Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00665632105920753931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-79223128047762321642008-04-28T10:05:00.000-06:002008-04-28T10:05:00.000-06:00Lisa, I think this is a good piece of writing. You...Lisa, I think this is a good piece of writing. You’re very talented! I got an excellent feel of the characters, and it held my interest very well. I agree though with what others have said before me - the descriptions and the background information are a bit lenghty at times.<BR/>However, I would very much like to find out what’ll happen next. I hope you’ll give us more…Vesperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12417602625059442986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-12425649800863783532008-04-25T23:49:00.000-06:002008-04-25T23:49:00.000-06:00Judy, I can appreciate the sentiment. This scene d...Judy, I can appreciate the sentiment. This scene doesn't do much to endear the reader to either character. I do like them though and I think some of the things I've written about them before and after this scene make them more likable. Having said that -- I am definitely not picking this back up yet. I am committed to moving forward with my DC WIP and will get a new chapter up as soon as I can. Thanks for the feedback on this. I always value your comments.<BR/><BR/>Julie, You are just so nice to take the time, not only to read this scene, but two entire chapters from my other WIP! Thank you so much. I also appreciate the differing point of view. Naturally, I like all of these characters or different reasons and both works were started under very different circumstances. You've keyed in on the reason I initially wanted to try a story with a brother and sister, told from alternating points of view. I liked the idea of the sibling dynamic. I think you're right -- that this may come down to a matter of reader taste. As a reader, I find Mimi and Tash more interesting too, but I know more about Tracy and Aaron.<BR/><BR/>The DC is a project that author Timothy Hallinan (link in my sidebar) started in late November. He challenged anybody "crazy or stupid enough" to start a novel from scratch and post a chapter a week in the manner of Charles Dickens. It's been an interesting experiment and as a beginning novel writer, I've learned so much from doing the DC. The Mimi/Tash excerpt is part of a partial novel that was written for the most part when I was in a couple of structured novel writing work shops in a local creative writing school here in Denver. Consequently, there were lots of edits and revisions and tweaks where with The Foundling Wheel, what you see is the first draft and most chapters where written in a week.<BR/><BR/>Brave -- not so much. Crazy is probably much more like it! Thank you again for your thoughts. I really appreciate them.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00665632105920753931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-89981542901811085222008-04-25T17:28:00.000-06:002008-04-25T17:28:00.000-06:00Kind of interesting, but I have to be a dissident ...Kind of interesting, but I have to be a dissident voice here. I read the first two chapters of the Foundling Wheel yesterday, and while I enjoyed it, too, I actually related more to Mimi and Tash and felt more drawn in by them and wanted more of their story. The brother/sister relationship here and its potential fascinated me. I found it easier to read their backstory than Tracy's, too.<BR/><BR/>So ... perhaps it has to do somewhat with which characters readers relate to in addition to how they're written. <BR/><BR/>In the long run, what may be most important is who *you* feel most drawn in by as you are writing. Those characters will surely be the most accessible eventually.<BR/><BR/>I'm clueless as to what the Dickens Challenge is, and am confused on which project is for what, but am enjoying the discussions here! <BR/><BR/>You are brave to put it all out there.Julie Kiblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914386223833117415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-89389331307755789762008-04-25T09:22:00.000-06:002008-04-25T09:22:00.000-06:00Hey Lisa-I'm with Larramie. technically, it's fin...Hey Lisa-<BR/><BR/>I'm with Larramie. technically, it's fine--nice descriptions, not too much "telling"--but I don't particularly like either of these people. They feel too distant.<BR/><BR/>Can we please get back to our friends in Germany? Please? If you ask nice, I bet they'll come out and play!Judy Merrill Larsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06675069484490433295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-17393864921436806962008-04-24T21:00:00.000-06:002008-04-24T21:00:00.000-06:00Julie, Thanks for coming by, although you didn't c...Julie, Thanks for coming by, although you didn't catch me on my best day :)<BR/><BR/>Larramie, I think when I first started to work on this, I was very analytical about what I wanted to write and who I thought these people might be and I didn't even come close to "inhabiting" them. That may be an obvious tactical error to most writers, but it's something I really didn't grasp at the time. People seem to like Tracy much better, despite her flaws, and the process for letting her emerge (if that doesn't sound too silly) was much more natural. When I first decided to attempt a novel, I used to think it was silly when I'd hear writers talk about characters who had their own ideas about what would happen next, but I completely get it now. Don't apologize! I appreciate for your insight.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00665632105920753931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-55039624703352431892008-04-24T18:06:00.000-06:002008-04-24T18:06:00.000-06:00There is some good description here, Lisa, but may...There is some good description here, Lisa, but maybe too much of it and that's putting up a barrier. The truth is I don't feel a connection to either Mimi or Tash and reading about them is to much of a purely mental exercise. Apologies, but they don't seem likable. *sigh*Larramiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14788910637361812265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-56726481114728418592008-04-24T16:19:00.000-06:002008-04-24T16:19:00.000-06:00Hi, Lisa! Thanks for stopping by my blog and also,...Hi, Lisa! Thanks for stopping by my blog and also, I see, adding me to your blog roll. I'll add you, too. In fact, it's been too long since I updated mine, so good motivation!<BR/><BR/>I just read through your excerpt, and I was intrigued, whatever your thoughts on it's accessibility! Haven't read your other stuff yet. <BR/>Glad to know I'm not the only one on a totally bizarre sleep schedule. ;-)Julie Kiblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914386223833117415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-6293787434790437522008-04-24T13:38:00.000-06:002008-04-24T13:38:00.000-06:00Bernita, Thank you and I hope your husband has rec...Bernita, Thank you and I hope your husband has recovered from his ordeal.<BR/><BR/>Steve, I was hoping you'd read this because I was looking for some external confirmation on a number of things I thought were obvious differences, now that I've been away from this one for a while and you've given it to me. I think the spontaneous nature of the Dickens Challenge unleashed something much more natural. This one feels much more stiff and contrived now that I've come back to it. I think the excessive tinkering I did on this one helped me in some ways, and I think the description is this WIP's strong suit, but you can't build a story on description. It's interesting too that I started this one with the idea that I'd alternate POV between Tash and Mimi (there was some preliminary stuff that came before this scene that gave you more on Tash), but I created two characters and gave them backgrounds I really didn't know anything about. Mimi becomes a little more sympathetic later, but I don't think I ever really got her. Tash is more likable, but I have the same problem with him that I have with Aaron (who I never gave a POV). I struggle with not making them purely sidekicks. <BR/><BR/>I'm not dropping The Foundling Wheel to go back to this, but I wanted to see if I could detect improvement on this and I feel like I have gotten better. <BR/><BR/>Judy Merrill Larsen and Candy Harris both have posts up that may have unstuck me on The Foundling Wheel. I'm close to figuring out what I need to do (I hope). <BR/><BR/>Thanks for the great comments.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00665632105920753931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-28132599603391232762008-04-24T13:20:00.000-06:002008-04-24T13:20:00.000-06:00Lisa, I agree with Bernita on the description. It...Lisa, I agree with Bernita on the description. It has real possibilities, but it isn't as easily accessible as The Foundling Wheel. I liked Tracy right away, and kept liking her even after it was clear that she had some serious flaws. Mimi clearly isn't Tracy--she comes off as cold and calculating. I can identify with Tash, as I'm not close to my own sibling, a brother. But so far Tash is mainly a sounding board. I'd keep reading, though.<BR/><BR/>If you need a break from The Foundling Wheel, maybe coming back to this makes sense. But please get back to The Foundling Wheel sometime. Your readers are hooked.steve on the slow trainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18257811143869341854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-567668315717895367.post-81303062483900955122008-04-24T07:05:00.000-06:002008-04-24T07:05:00.000-06:00Some truly wonderful description!Thank you, Lisa, ...Some truly wonderful description!<BR/><BR/>Thank you, Lisa, for your kind good wishes.<BR/>I'm happy to forego the pussy willows in the future.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.com